My father told me when I was young that he had a book. A book they only gave to dads. It was claimed to hold all his worldly wisdom. Many times I would ask him something and not being pleased with the answers he would always refer to the book. The Book. I never found this book. I was gullible enough to comb the massive bookshelves looking for an untitled book that held the daddy secrets. I don't remember when I gave up on this book. In my heart I don't think I did. I think back in the compartment that holds onto your childhood still believes its there.
I keep this magic in my heart and use it on Evan.
He has a hero. From unexpected places.
In 2008 I met Christopher. He was the hot landscaper that moved in next door. It was love at first sight. Still is. Could I have possibly found a man who loved me AND my one year old? Could I have found someone who I felt me with? Why yes, yes I did. This man wrapped his heart around me. Not only me, Evan. Those of you who have been there before know what it does to watch someone love something that you do so completely. Not necessarily a child but a hobby, the same kind of music or even food. Its an awesome feeling to share a passionate connection. Christopher possesses a passion, sensativity and an understanding that most men lack. We call it good raising. You know, door opening, listening to you rant, brushing your hair and bringing you flowers for no reason.
When it came to Evan Michael, love knows no bounds. Christopher and I were casually dating, not quite committed but not apart. He had stepped into Evans life with a flourish. When he bought his house he invited Evan to spend the night, in his own crib. He bought toys for when he came over, and he made all his favorite foods. As things got more serious we decided that living at his house on the weekends and his at ours during the week was pointless. We decided to combine households. Ev had his Chris.
We had holidays and birthdays and Auburn Football. We had an awesome thing going. I looked at him and watched the love. I looked at Evan and watched the adoration and love for this man. It makes you fall even more for someone. It was awesome.
In 2010 we started talking the M word. After 2.5 years we had some decisions to make. Evan. If something happened to our marriage how would we share Evan? Could we set up custody?
Let me pause right here and say, there was/is no paternal involvement.
We agreed that no matter what, I would NEVER take Evan away from him. EVER.
So we did it. We got married. Evan will tell you that he got married. To his dad.
The dad thing started in about 2010. It slowly stopped being Chris and became Dad. We didn't stop, nor encourage. Evan made that choice. I remember the look in Chris's eyes when we finally talked about it. No objections there.
In October 2011 we got pregnant with Cameron. In March of 2012 we started something. Something that no one but our families knew about. Without their love and support and acceptance, it could not have been done.
In May we registered Evan for kindergarten. We couldn't use Morris, nor could Christopher fill out the "dad" portion of the paperwork. Watching that was painful. We had a trump card. We would return.
On June 26, Evan became a big brother. He welcomed Cameron into the family with open arms. He loves him wholeheartedly.
On June 28, Christopher became a dad. Again.
On June 28, at eleven oh one AM, Christopher sat before the circuit judge and received signed documentation that Evan was legally his.
My fabulous husband became a dad, twice in one week. Cameron was his creation but Evan was his dream. Evan is his dream. In every way possible now. Both his boys hold his name. Both his boys are legally entitled to him. There is no difference in either of them, except DNA make up.
Evan is his.
Two days prior I got to see the look on my husbands face as we welcomed Cameron in the world. Its a feeling I will never forget. I will also never forget the sound of relief and happiness in his voice when he called me in the hospital to tell me it was done.
A plus?? My dad got to be there with him and witness him being told Evan was legally his. That is pretty awesome.
A couple days ago Evan was helping me do laundry and he handed me a hanger and smiled. I told him that he was me hero and thank you for the help.
That little boy turned to me and said, "my daddy is my hero."
No truer words have ever been spoken.
The definition of "DAD" has multiple meanings in our house. The simplicity of ones father can't possibly cover the multitude of meanings that we hold dear here. We still haven't reached the end of the definition, I hope we never will.
Congratulations Christopher James Morris and Evan Michael Morris!