Wednesday, May 30, 2012

While on bedrest, let me "teach" some hospital etiquette!

I see all kinds of things working as a tech. There was a Guy who had spoonfulls of potato salad in his suitcase or the one who had 800 bouquets of roses in her room. They come in all shapes and sizes. Literally. One thing, or many, get on my nerves and this post is to explain the proper way to not only be a visitor, family member but also a patient.

1. This is NOT a hotel. There is no reason to pack 3 massive suitcases for a 2 night 3 day stay. You don't need 45 pairs of matching satin PJ's for a joint replacement surgery. Pack some loose pants and loose t shirts. Sleep in a hospital gown, make us do laundry you wont meet your next husband in therapy. ;)
2. Do NOT request a razor for your husband who isn't a patient... really?!?! The supplies are there for you. If he comes to visit you just bring his stuff.
3. Linked with #2, our snack room is not a meal replacement for said husband and 20 guests. Its for the recovering patients. And as a courtesy snack for family's. Not meals.
4. When having your vitals done, the number 120/80 has not shown up on my BP machine in 6 months.. I laughingly told one family if it ever does I will buy the person lunch.. BP is affected by meds, stress and overall surgery. In no way will it be that number. Please don't panic we have your best interest at heart and will let you know if it is a problem.
5. Please as a family member take the time to know the floor, maybe where the towels are, where ice is and snacks.. we try our BEST to get to you in time but sometimes taking care of 40 people, we can't get u a washcloth at the drop of a hat.

I have recently had a discussion with Christopher about #5. As a tech I sure as hell will not be bothering those busy people with petty things that maybe he or my family could grab while the staff works on someone in need.

6. Please pack writing utensils. PLEASE!!!! nuff said.
7. This is not the Ritz, I am obligated 3 times a shift to check your vitals, even if I have to wake you up. I'm sorry I know it's a pain but I HAVE to do this.
8. Your nurses and assistants don't cook. I'm sorry. Food management is handled by hospitality. I can't go fry you 2 eggs over easy with whole wheat toast and organic grape jam.
9. As nasty and as mean as it may sound you aren't the first person to ever have surgery.. grab a Snickers...
10. Please don't forget your manners.. I love my job, I love my patients.. but please and thank you go a long way to a 12 hr day..

I can think of a million more things like please don't let the room phone ring 20 times. The person just had surgery they need the R&R. I promise you I know what I am doing and I'm pretty good at it.
I love getting to know new people and letting them heal and get back to normal, but sometimes, potato salad in the suitcase is just the way it goes...