Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bigger and better.. hopefully smaller and amazing

Evan is off to kindergarten. Its going amazingly well. He's so thrilled and eager to learn. I think honestly he loves the responsibility. Lets see how that changes. We all know it will.

Cameron is amazing. The formula change has been a godsend. He is sleeping from about 9pm to 4:30am. Its considered all night since his daddy gets up at that time. He's probably around 15lbs now. He goes to the doctor in Sept. So well see!

Chris and I have started running. I wanted to see if I could do a lap and dammit I did!! I ran .30mi in 3 min. I'm proud. I'm over being bigger and I have to just change my lifestyle. I'm going to own that lap and build my endurance. I will do this. Once I start to work I will incorporate the bowflex.

And in watching Phineas and Ferb today.. I heard this song!

We're leaving our work, we're closing our laptops, and responding to the cry
We gotta make sure the baby's fed and, more importantly, they're dry
We're professional nose-wipers
And know every brand of diaper
But you have to pay the piper
Don't you ever call us gripers
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

We are the Moms and we can't resist the calling
We are the Moms and we hear a baby bawling
We are the Moms and everything you've heard is all quite true
'Cause moms will always come through
Moms will always come through

Ooh, yeah
We are the Moms who get you into your pajamas
We are the Moms and we could do without the drama
We are the Moms and we'll always do what mamas do
'Cause moms will always come through (X5)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Night Before Life Goes On

I don't really have much to say. I have a lot on my mind and surprisingly kindergarten isn't a stressor!!!
I love this kid. He is going to do amazing, I have no doubts. I look forward to all the firsts with kindergarten. I can't wait until he gets home and has stories.

It reminds me, of My Wish for my boys...

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Evan's Hero




One's father.

My father told me when I was young that he had a book. A book they only gave to dads. It was claimed to hold all his worldly wisdom. Many times I would ask him something and not being pleased with the answers he would always refer to the book. The Book. I never found this book. I was gullible enough to comb the massive bookshelves looking for an untitled book that held the daddy secrets. I don't remember when I gave up on this book. In my heart I don't think I did. I think back in the compartment that holds onto your childhood still believes its there.

I keep this magic in my heart and use it on Evan.

He has a hero. From unexpected places.

In 2008 I met Christopher. He was the hot landscaper that moved in next door. It was love at first sight. Still is. Could I have possibly found a man who loved me AND my one year old? Could I have found someone who I felt me with? Why yes, yes I did. This man wrapped his heart around me. Not only me, Evan. Those of you who have been there before know what it does to watch someone love something that you do so completely. Not necessarily a child but a hobby, the same kind of music or even food. Its an awesome feeling to share a passionate connection. Christopher possesses a passion, sensativity and an understanding that most men lack. We call it good raising. You know, door opening, listening to you rant, brushing your hair and bringing you flowers for no reason.
When it came to Evan Michael, love knows no bounds. Christopher and I were casually dating, not quite committed but not apart. He had stepped into Evans life with a flourish. When he bought his house he invited Evan to spend the night, in his own crib. He bought toys for when he came over, and he made all his favorite foods. As things got more serious we decided that living at his house on the weekends and his at ours during the week was pointless. We decided to combine households. Ev had his Chris.
We had holidays and birthdays and Auburn Football. We had an awesome thing going. I looked at him and watched the love. I looked at Evan and watched the adoration and love for this man. It makes you fall even more for someone. It was awesome.
In 2010 we started talking the M word. After 2.5 years we had some decisions to make. Evan. If something happened to our marriage how would we share Evan? Could we set up custody?

Let me pause right here and say, there was/is no paternal involvement.

We agreed that no matter what, I would NEVER take Evan away from him. EVER.

So we did it. We got married. Evan will tell you that he got married. To his dad.
The dad thing started in about 2010. It slowly stopped being Chris and became Dad. We didn't stop, nor encourage. Evan made that choice. I remember the look in Chris's eyes when we finally talked about it. No objections there.

In October 2011 we got pregnant with Cameron. In March of 2012 we started something. Something that no one but our families knew about. Without their love and support and acceptance, it could not have been done.

In May we registered Evan for kindergarten. We couldn't use Morris, nor could Christopher fill out the "dad" portion of the paperwork. Watching that was painful. We had a trump card. We would return.

On June 26, Evan became a big brother. He welcomed Cameron into the family with open arms. He loves him wholeheartedly.

On June 28, Christopher became a dad. Again.

On June 28, at eleven oh one AM, Christopher sat before the circuit judge and received signed documentation that Evan was legally his.

My fabulous husband became a dad, twice in one week. Cameron was his creation but Evan was his dream. Evan is his dream. In every way possible now. Both his boys hold his name. Both his boys are legally entitled to him. There is no difference in either of them, except DNA make up.

Evan is his.

Two days prior I got to see the look on my husbands face as we welcomed Cameron in the world. Its a feeling I will never forget. I will also never forget the sound of relief and happiness in his voice when he called me in the hospital to tell me it was done.

A plus?? My dad got to be there with him and witness him being told Evan was legally his. That is pretty awesome.

A couple days ago Evan was helping me do laundry and he handed me a hanger and smiled. I told him that he was me hero and thank you for the help.

That little boy turned to me and said, "my daddy is my hero."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

The definition of "DAD" has multiple meanings in our house. The simplicity of ones father can't possibly cover the multitude of meanings that we hold dear here. We still haven't reached the end of the definition, I hope we never will.

Congratulations Christopher James Morris and Evan Michael Morris!

Raising our boy..

When Evan was about 11 months old we decided it was time for "school". We called a daycare that we have known for a long time. I grew up with the owners girls and mom was friends with the director. Never in a million years did I imagine that these wonderful ladies would not take care of my child, but they would raise him. They spent days molding, teaching and guiding my sweet boy into the amazing little guy he is today. They never hesitated to scold or correct and make sure he was the best he could be. We always allocated extra time in the morning because they were our family. They care about us, not just Evan. It is always a wonderful feeling to walk into a hug and kisses.
I could not have asked for anyone better to step in and help raise our little boy. They have amazingly generous hearts and care so much.

I can't wait until I get to walk through that door with Cameron. There is no one else we trust.

Thank you Pam, Dianne, Dodie and Kellie!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Oh the places you'll go!

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." -Dr. Suess

I never thought I'd be a mom. Well, ha ha, I never thought I would want to be a mom. Then this tiny pipsqueak came into my life. I tried to explain to my husband how to care for Cameron, our second boy, and the only thing I could come up with was, "It just happens!". The pure natural mom instinct kicked in. I remember the NICU doctor asking me if I could take care of him.

I turned to the man and said, "Do I have a choice?"

Evan spent his first year growing. I mean GROWING! I think he was determined to not be called a Preemie. I personally have not used that term. He has no ill effects of showing early. I consider us very lucky in that fact, things could have gone south very quickly.

At a young age Evan, like many or all boys, became obsessed with things with wheels. He was completely lucky that his Bapa or Bop had that covered. My dad had acreage in Tennessee, 4 wheelers, tractors and belonged to a rock crawling club. As soon as he could hold his head up he was in the Jeep riding through homemade trails in the pasture. As soon as he had enough core strength he was riding on a John Deere tractor during hay season. It was a little boys dream. He has become a psuedo member of RCRC and rides most Jeep rides in his awesome go cart seat.

Since he was born the boy was always going places. It just had to have wheels and a motor!!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Countdown to kindergarten ..

Just short of 5 and a half years to the day, my 2nd true love will enter the unknown. He will walk into a place where the world will be in his hands. He will have everything he needs to climb to the top of any "mountain" he desires.
I will have the normal anxieties as any momma but the biggest thing to remember is this is fun, awesome and exciting.

So, for the next week leading up to the "First day story" I'm going to blog some Evan stories. I hope you enjoy!

On February 21, 2007 due to deathly high blood pressure, Evan Michael was brought into my world. Weighing 4 pounds and 13 ounces and 18 inches long, he was 5 weeks premature. My little boy, who I finally held 24 hours after birth, was perfect. Tiny, but perfect. After 9 days in the NICU he was allowed home. I hugged and held and loved this little boy so fiercely that nothing else mattered.
But something else did matter. Not known to a young man living in Auburn, Alabama, did he know that he was going to become a hero, become the secret keeper, become the warm chest on a cold day and become whole.
Evan Michael brought a whole new world to his birth. He brought love and life and a complete total love me and my family, and in due time, with a whole other family that he now belongs.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Signs I Should Pay Attention To

I think the good Lord told me, "Megan, at 27, your body is done having babies!"

Why do I think this???

In early April I started physical therapy for severe hip pain. Three days a week at work and two at therapy. Their solution was give birth.
Miraculously they were right!!!

End of May I was put on bedrest. Due to blood pressure that I honestly believe was due to hip pain and still working a physical job 3x a week.

Mid June my blood pressure kept a steady low high. *sigh*

Delivered a week early. I was a good girl on bedrest.

In hospital had severe reaction to dilauded. That stinks because its the good stuff. Finally got pain control the last day.

Saturday the 30th, my Bells Palsy started.
By the 2nd I was numb on my right side. No muscle movement and no taste. I'm STILL numb.

Cameron stopped gaining weight and was sent for ultrasound for Pyloric Stenosis. Negative. Its reflux.

Today I was diagnosed with De Quervains. Its a form of tendonitis that pretty much causes you pain when you use your thumbs. I received a cortisone shot in my right wrist today and I will have surgery tomorrow.

Do we think that's enough signs? Even if you don't believe them, aren't those enough signs???????
I have been blessed to have the extremes in my two boys.
Evan is my tender heart. He was born 5 weeks early at 4lbs 13oz and 18 inches long. He never looked back. He was my quiet baby.
Cameron is my spit fire. He was 9lbs 5oz and 21 inches long. He came out screaming mad. He's been my opinionated critter that keeps us on our toes. I knew when he was trying to hold his head up on day 1 that he was my curious and active baby.

With Evan Michael, I was close to losing my life with him. I like to think my high BP was just pouring my heart into him. I think Cameron Alexander has taken my ailments as a challenge to drive ahead full force!

I love my babies, my husband and my family. I still think I may need to watch the signs.

And for those of you wanting a girl from us, good luck! !!!!